Be the Man

Wednesday, July 20, 2011 at 11:56PM

Where I grew up, we watched our words and we were careful about what came out of our mouths. Because once it’s out? It’s out. You can’t take it back. You can apologize, you can say you didn’t mean it, but you can’t hit control-Z and you can’t just erase what’s already been done.

Y’all keep saying that Hoyt didn’t mean “shit” that way, and you know what? You’re probably right. I know he loves me, vampire and all. And maybe the power of my blood makes him feel small. He’s in a relationship with a woman who’s faster and stronger than him. But that’s the woman he fell in love with. It’s been that way since day one. And while I want to let him be the man, so he can feel big and important, isn’t all that stuff silly? Haven’t we moved beyond all that in today’s world? Women can have careers and men can be stay-at-home dads.

Well I ain’t gonna just sit pretty for him. I’ve never been that way and I never will be.

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Things That Are Shit

Sunday, July 17, 2011 at 10:00PM

I can’t get Hoyt’s words outta my mind. Calling my blood shit.

When I think about my blood, I think about its healing nature. Its way of connecting me to the man that I love. At least that’s how it used to be. But lately, it’s like the little rope tied to him at one end, and me at the other? It’s fraying or unraveling. All the fibers are coming apart and now we’re just a mess of string that used to be something strong.

When I think about things that are shit, I think of my daddy’s beatings. I think of what I did to Hoyt, with that guy at Fantgasia. I think of whoever or whatever beat Jason near to his death.

But my blood? My blood ain’t shit. Hoyt Fortenberry, you could not have been more wrong. My blood just saved someone’s life. Maybe it’s my fault that the rope is coming apart, but it ain’t my blood’s fault.

There are things that are shit, and then there are things that are not shit.

Napred Jessica